The Betting Man Joke

There are a few different version of this joke and I have cleaned this one up to be a little bit more family oriented becasue that is what I like to be on this blog. This of a well off man named Mr. Morris and him being audited by the irs. This unedited version came from the website http://www.jewishmag.com/131mag/humor/humor.htm Enjoy!

The IRS decides to audit Morris, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Morris shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Morris. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Morris says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Morris removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Morris says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Morris isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Morris removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Morris's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Morris asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Morris stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just cancelled a major loss. But Morris's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Morris told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and not only that but you'd be happy about it!'

Make your own Hitler video.

Hitler was one of the most feared and ruthless dictators in history. Why not make fun of him with this cool little creator. Many people have used this to make videos of a german moive scence where hitler starts to fall apart. Here is a demo of one that some one made when Hitler Finds out CHUCK NORRIS is comming.  You can make your own video by going here and filling in the script for the subtitles: http://downfall.jfedor.org/create/

Here is a video made by kevinrspBelieves on youtube:

Funny Local Joke from Brownwood Texas Helicopter Story!

Its getting close to a celerbration we have every year hear in brownwood and I thought I might share this joke we have had for a while about a ride at the Brownwood Reunion.

It goes:
Every year this hellicopter pilot would come to Brownwood to offer Rides to see Brownwood from the air for 50 bucks. One year this older couple came up and looked at the helicopter. The man said "I sure wish I could ride this". His wife instantly said "me too honey but it says 50 bucks. We are getting up there and we just don't have that to spend right now on a silly ride.  50 Bucks is 50 bucks!"

A Few years passed and again the young pilot came to Brownwood for the Reunion. He saw the same couple again and this time the Man said again "I sure wish I could ride this helicopter before I leave this world. " The wife again said, "we have to many medial bills right now 50 bucks is 50 bucks we just can't spend it right now." The man hung his head down as they walked off again.

The next year the pilot was back and the very aged couple came up and once gain the man wanted to ride it. He told his wife, "I'm not getting any younger I really want to ride this helicopter before I die." "I know honey" she said "but its still 50 bucks. We have to many bills and 50 bucks is 50 bucks."

The pilot got an idea. He called out to them and said "Hey! I will make you a deal!" The man said "what is that." "I'm doing pretty good this year and I will take both of ya'll up if you promise not to make a sound during the flight. I mean no screaming no cheering, or hollering." The man looked at his wife and she didn't look to thrilled about it but said "ok." The pilot said "but if I heard anything the flight will be 50 bucks." The man looked him in the eye and said "deal."

The pilot belted them in and started his flight. He gave it all he could, he banks right, then left, dropped down, the back up, he flew for almost 30mins trying to get this couple worked up but nothing. He landed and turned to tell them he was amazed that even his frail wife didn't scream.

"Looking back to his surpise she wasn't there. He asked the man where did she go?"

"Oh she fell out on that first hard turn you did my boy. "

"OH MY GOD! Why didn't you say anything?"

"50 bucks is 50 bucks" he said smiling.

Place Finger Here!

This is a cool animation that is so cool its interactive. Just follow the instructions and watch the video play out really fun to watch.

Thats the spot! Funny Cat Video

Found another one on facebook. this time its a cat that really like to be petted but has a funny way of showing it. fyi cat is fine he is just being scratched by his tail.